A changed Opinion

I know I've been just complaining in my blogs lately but this is how I've been feeling. I wish so much, that I could find a way out of this pit I'm so deeply burried in. I wish I was strong enough to find the light. But the fact is, I am not strong enough. I have lost the only thing that kept me going, my faith. Things have been really bad lately. theres been so much fighing in my home. Schools been draging on, and my old focus is gone. I can't stop blamming myself for this shadow of a life i'm living. There seems to be no way out. People see me but they don't know me. everyone seems so far away latley. How do I get back to them? It's weird, I was reading other blogs by my christain friends and I felt so guilty. So This blog started with the words..."God is Good!!!" but I knew i was kidding myself.... I don't even know who God is anymore. I wish I knew the secret to holding on to the faith I once had. None of my friends understand the way I feel... I can't discuss this with them, they think its too deep and it freaks them out. But If i don't have the support of my Friends who do I have to count on. Life has been so difficult! Why can't I just be happy for like one day! But I have fear and regret instead! Seeing peoples love for the Lord makes me want it, but I just can't seem to get back up. I've fallin and I can't get back up. I want to be happy again.

posted by Becky* @ Saturday, September 23, 2006